Most mornings, Sooki set out in the darkness to walk the two miles to a power-yoga class that started at six-thirty, despite the presence of my car keys on the kitchen counter and explicit instructions to drive. Ive got to take care of my nun, I told him. Everything looks so logical going backwardYes, of course, thats what we didbut going forward its something else entirely. It took me a few weeks to figure this out but soon I could track it, the way her voice got quieter, the way she was less likely to look me in the eye. Of course we are.. When it was over, I managed to make my way into the shower, perhaps the biggest single accomplishment of my life. Or maybe it was the company. We wrote about artists we liked, about Pantone and the color wheel. may 31, 2020: I had the most unusual dream last night. The car was taking me into yellow, not a field of yellow but into the color itself. Curiosity is the rock upon which fiction is built.. RELATED:Tom Hanks and Rita Wilsons Friend and Assistant Dies from Pancreatic Cancer; See Their Heartfelt Tribute to the Artist, A post shared by Rita Wilson (@ritawilson), Throughout her illness she painted, she saw beauty, she created and she never wavered, Wilson said. The trees were down but not the houses, and the trees, from what I could see, hadnt fallen on the houses. Still, I wanted to double-check. Would it even work? The very fact of her existence in our house kept me on track. She painted. I didnt need to hear about the first opinion to know what that meant. Off we went to bed, the book and I, and in doing so put the chain of events into motion. Or its supposed to slow it down. She hadnt lost her hair on FOLFIRINOX, though shed lost her sense of taste and smell, the feeling in her feet and hands, and twenty pounds. No one had ever been so welcome. We talked about singing and touring and about the Opry. More:Amazon releases its best books of 2021 list: 'An embarrassment of riches'. They reviewed her records together. What with all the news of this new virus they thought there was a good chance people werent going to show up. Here she was the person she had meant to be. I wanted to say hello very quietly so as not to bother her. Forget about the heartfelt letters. Susan Joan "Sooki" Raphael of Topanga, CA passed peacefully on April 25th surrounded by friends, family, color, light, joy, and love. All that was left was the wall around what had been their garden. Sooki, I found out, was sixty-four. We are Southern, and it is like this here, always. Wed been introduced when I arrived but I didnt remember her name. Tom Hanks needs a favor? I hoped he would ask me to join them. Look at this.. If there were too many people there, you managed to crop them out. A man answered. Im sure these words cant adequately convey what was such a radiant message, but it stayed with me so strongly as I woke up during the night, and thats the best I can describe it. It seemed to be key to the way humans were shaped, and I was aware that this was going on for others around you. That led to Patchett's friendship with Sooki Raphael, Hanks' assistant, and Patchett inviting Raphael to live in her home in Nashville while undergoing cancer treatment. She doesnt have to go to India. I was so afraid Id killed you.. I was trying to read her lips. My whole life Ive wanted this time. My childhood best friend was staying with us while this discussion was going on. He and the other pilot talked flying with Sookis mother. Surely we would take off the Wednesday mornings when she had to be at the hospital at seven oclock. I couldnt muster whatever it would have taken to follow her, but I could hear the music fine from where I was, Greckis Symphony No.3, Arvo Prt, pieces I had loved and would love no more. PATCHETT: Every single thing was from scratch. It took a while to get the mushrooms. I've got mail today, from one of Hollywood's top stars - Tom Hanks. It came out of nowhere, like one of those weird storms that had plagued us in the spring. Sooki exuded such an air of self-sufficiency that I scarcely thought to worry about her. Still, it seemed possible I could get off the ride early by expelling the mushrooms. Subscribe to the World edition here. Enter your new information and click on Save My Changes. He figures out problems that other people have tried and failed to solve for years. I leave the house at 6:30 am every weekday morning to make it down to the bottom basementfloor 2Bat UCLAs Westwood Medical Center by 7:30 am. When was she first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer? We laughed at ourselves, at the practice, at the voice that told us we were flowers, we were leopards, but we didnt stop. RoseGallery featured Sooki Raphael's work in the past. (These Precious Dayshas a portrait by her of Patchetts dog Sparky on the cover). It was now or never. A few more pages would send me off to sleep, so I went in search of a short story. The money behind Ron DeSantiss populist faade, What the American Academy of Arts and Letters taught me about death. Her sisters were in, her mother was thrilled. Hanks, by way of reciprocation, agrees to do the audio recording of Patchetts eighth novel, The Dutch House, and a sporadic email exchange between Patchett and Sooki develops into a friendship. It's about Patchett's unexpected friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant, which developed when Raphael underwent chemo treatment while living at Patchett's house in Nashville at the start of the pandemic. But now shes memorialized in author Ann Patchetts latest book. Moving Forward after Losing a Loved One to Cancer. The plan was that she would go home to Los Angeles during her weeks off, and once UCLA started the trial, she could go home permanently. She told me she thought shed put too much of her creative energy into her outfits over the years since she had stopped painting, though she might have said it to make me feel better. There was no money or freedom or wherewithal to buy another ticket and see him sooner. With every passing day I seemed less able to say, Do you want to talk about this? Its so amazingly generous of Karl, she whispered uncertainly. But for all the times people have wanted to tell me their story because they think it would make a wonderful novel, it pretty much never works out. I met an old friend from school who lived up in Harlem and she drove me out. I knew I should sit with her at the table but I couldnt imagine it. I floated upstairs in a world that would not stop changing. It's an unforgettable story. We both wrote for the New York Times. I could see Ken and how hes always been there for me, how he steps back to let me shine. I said, I have access to every article of clothing I own and I couldnt pull myself together to look as good as you do going to chemo.. At first wed rolled our eyes, but now I was wondering if it would be melodramatic to cancel my April book tour of Australia and New Zealand. Who is she? She said she didnt know what she was going to do. She had brought a squeaky toy for Sparky. Afterward we sat up at the hotel and talked about this new coronavirus and whether the rest of her tour would be canceled. We were still at the beginning then. I will pick you up very late on Tuesday and take you to see Johanna on Wednesday. Do you even realize your life isnt normal? Niki said when I announced my trip. It turned out to be more or less the truth. Direct flights to Los Angeles had been suspended, and even if shed wanted to fly to Dallas to wait and see whether the connecting flight would be canceled (because thats what happened now), her weekly blood draws underscored the fact that she scarcely had enough white cells to qualify for chemo, much less protect her from a pandemic while on a commercial flight. But the clinical trial she needed was here in Nashville at the hospital where my husband worked. Had it been a bad book or just a good-enough book, I would have put it down, but page after page it surprised me. We found a diner down the street from where I would be speaking. Are you not sorry you did it? I felt like it took me two minutes to put that much together. Daughter, husband, sister, friendnone of the people scheduled to visit her could come now that the world was on lockdown. Sooki had strength and courage. Shed gone to an Indian restaurant and bought bread stuffed with apricots and dates. We took turns cooking or cooked together. She gave me the number and I called it from the house phone, hoping wed hear it ring. You should have planned for the financial fallout of having pancreatic cancer twice?. It had been languishing in a pile by the dresser for a while, and Id left it there because of an unarticulated belief that actors should stick to acting. And you will be surprised by how comforting it is to be very sick with an actual doctor upstairs. It would have to be for this story to continue. I thought he should be angry at me. In Memoriam. It was shallow, but perfect, and the early morning, Sea stones with holes in them have long been regarded as magical talismans, carried for protection, or safe passage. But after years of infections, she decided to remove her implants and go flat. Her artwork reflects a deeply personal exploration of body image and sexuality. In Tan-Tan there was no electricity at night, either. And then one night, for reasons I cannot imagine, we decided to do it all again before we went to sleep. I could see her doing it. Sooki had gone to work for the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs right out of college. On the porch, Sparky joined in. Death was there during those long, sunny days. But also undeniable are Patchetts generosity of spirit, compassion and gift for friendship. "The press release is about to go out." I sat there and watched her read, waiting for something more, something that explained it. I was introduced to Tom Hankss editor, Tom Hankss agent, his publicist, his assistant, Tom Hanks himself. PATCHETT: Well, thank you. Not everyone is like this. Lets try the car.. We said our goodbyes and Adrian and I walked downtown to see what had happened. In the titular essay, Patchett reflects on her serendipitous friendship with Sooki Raphael. It's clear this was hard to write about when you turned to actually try to capture Sooki in an essay. "How other people live is pretty much all I think about. We would meet on the level playing field of affectionate strangers. Karl and the dog went out on the front porch to read the newspaper. She was right here, Karl said. I think about you often and hope for the best. The months shed lost not being in chemo while they struggled to locate the new tumor had put her perilously behind. Ann had only briefly met Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant for over two decades, at an author event, but after learning Sooki was in treatment for advanced pancreatic cancer and hoping to be included in a proposed Los Angeles clinical trial, the author devised a plan. When the event was over and more pictures had been taken and everyone had said how much theyd enjoyed absolutely everything, Tom Hanks and his assistant and I found ourselves alone again, standing at the end of a long cement hallway by a stage door, saying good night and goodbye. So there she was, stuck with us. Farley announced the news of his opt-out in an Instagram video saying, in part, I cannot afford to lose another parent or loved one Though the competitor in me badly wants to play this season, I cannot ignore whats going on in my heart, and I must make the decision that brings me the most peace., 2021 NFL Draft Prospect Caleb Farley Tells SurvivorNet His Mom Was Like a Superhero Before She Lost Her Battle with Breast Cancer; Heres What Got Him Through. She had felt their love and heard their voices while I was hacking up snakes in some pitch-black cauldron of lava at the center of the earth. She was thrilled to get the chance to work. The more literary essays include an introduction to the stories of Eudora Welty (No writer I know of tells the truth of the landscape like Welty); pieces on book covers (I finally knew how to ask for what I wanted I would send my books into the world wearing the best suit of clothes I could find); childrens stories; sitting next to John Updike at a lunch at the American Academy of Arts and Letters; and perhaps my favorite, To the Doghouse, on literary influences. She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before. I was angry at myself. We hadnt paid the check. Subscribers can find additional help here. The cell-phone case also served as her wallet, containing her credit cards, cash, IDs, insurance cardseverything important. We tried to be jolly and failed and cried again. His wife, Rita Wilson, is a singer who writes with people in Nashville, where songwriting is a group activity. apr. They were lucky to get up in the morning to fly across the country so Sooki could have a pancreaticoduodenectomy, also known as a Whipple procedure. She traveled the world as the personal assistant to one of Hollywoods biggest stars. It was as if 98percent of her hair had fallen out, but somehow in the process, it had felted. All rights reserved. The Amazing Rita Wilsons New Film About Choosing Life; How She Beat Cancer & Became A Songwriter, Hot, Sweaty And Itchy Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man When To Seek Help, 54-Year-Olds Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apples Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself. I know how to structure my time. And we had the most amazing time. And then I found out that she had had pancreatic cancer, that she had had a Whipple, that she had gone through chemo and radiation, that she had been pronounced cancer free, that her cancer came back. Heres to more time to explore color and enjoy all the peoplelike youwho make life colorful. I came and watched from the open door. I cant tell you how grateful I am. The greenroom crowd was then escorted to their seats, and we were ushered to the dark place behind the curtainTom Hanks, his assistant, and I. Recurrent pancreatic cancer kept me focused on the present moment. At what point does our understanding of the action shift? Called These Precious Days(Harper, 320 pp., out of four, out Tuesday) after a line from the pop standard September Song, memorably recorded by another Nashville legend, Willie Nelson, the essay lends its melancholy title to a new collection of essays by one of Americas premier writers. Plans were made for Sooki to come to Nashville. I tried to find a place for this new fact in the equation but all I could come up with was the obviousI didnt know her. Maybe its the trial, she said, but I think it could just as easily be the food and the yoga.. He was tall and slim, happily at ease, answering questions, signing books. I made it a point not to tell Karl sad medical stories at the end of his long days of sad medical stories. We at Harper's Magazine are deeply saddened by the loss of our former contributing editor Barry Lopez (1945-2020), who died on Christmas Day.Over the course of four decades, Barry wrote more than a dozen works of criticism, reportage, and memoir for the magazine, all of them informed by the combination of wonder and moral urgency that made him one of America's most beloved . Who is she? We were standing in the kitchen in the late afternoon, the time before dinner and between two yoga sessions. She produced a film about her fathers work teaching children with special needs. Its HARD. Click, click, click. Someone wound the clock and suddenly the second hand, so long suspended, began to tick again, pushing us forward. feb. 14, 2020: PSJust to be clear, I ran all this by Karl first, who said, I favor having her here. (Very Karl.). I saw my mother and sister. may 21, 2019: Thank you for your concern about my medical procedure. Or I would have forgotten about it, except that I got a call from Tom Hankss publicist a few weeks later, asking whether I would fly to Washington in October to interview the actor onstage as part of his book tour. But when? One of the last things I understand when Im putting a novel together is the structure of time. The title piece in the autobiographical essay collection These Precious Days by Ann Patchett is about her unexpected friendship with Tom Hanks's personal assistant, Sooki Raphael, who ended up living with Patchett and her husband in Nashville while enrolled in a medical trial for pancreatic cancer. Nothing had to. I flew back to New York for two more events, the first one in Connecticut. I asked Sooki if she had any interest in trying psilocybin. Tom Hanks was so completely absent from our conversations that I once asked her if he knew where she was. There is Tom Hanks's deceased assistant, Sooki Raphael, protagonist of the title essay that went viral a few months ago when it was published by Harper's, who had gone to Nashville for her . It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. Don't have an account? How is it possible? I said as I complimented her again and again. She could work for Mother Teresa. I was grateful. What about your sisters? I asked. Why shouldnt I read one? feb. 7, 2020: When last we typed you were on your way to Stanford for a second opinion. I turned out the light and kept thinking about the leash, the marathons, the trail running, the yoga, the walking in the desert, the painting and painting and painting. Shes Now Memorialized in Author Ann Patchetts Latest Book; Moving Forward after the Loss of a Loved One to Cancer, Raphael first met Patchett backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. But over time the idea drifted to the back burner. On the few mornings she didnt come up at her usual time, I imagined her sick, needing something, not telling me because she didnt want to bother me. And what about the women who cleaned that house, who fixed those children their dinner? It would be a nightmare.. The mistakes I had made were so clear once I had finished. Many were the mornings the yoga felt endless to me, and so I would give her a wave as I left the mat and headed off to my desk. In the press release for the exhibition, ROSEGALLERY said her works used her colorful palette as an expression of a renewal of spirit and life as she healed alongside the scorched landscape of the Malibu and Topanga hills.. Then youd have to park. In the case of The Dutch House, Id started to think about a poor woman who suddenly became rich, and because she was unable to deal with the change in circumstances, she left her family and went to India to follow a guru. This chemo wasnt the nightmare FOLFIRINOX had been. I flew to New York early the next morning, took a car to New Jersey, signed several hundred books, attended a cocktail-party fund-raiser for the Book Industry Charitable Foundation, gave a talk in a crowded town hall, got to my hotel room in Manhattan at midnight, got up in the morning to tape a segment for the Today show, then was back on a plane. This unfolds in your college dorm freshman year. We have some picnic tables outside the police station, the officer said. But I think once youre here and see the setup youll understand. We talked about art. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog.. Sooki got a stool and a towel and went to sit on the back deck. We saw two movies with my sister. That at home she felt responsible for overseeing every aspect of her treatment, researching cures, double-checking medical ordersshe had caught a few harrowing errors along the way, near missesbut here she knew that Dr.Bendell and Karl always had their eyes on her. They knocked one another down like dominoes. Its not like youre stuck in one place. I would have given her a hug but for the pandemic. Most of the writers and artists I know were made for sheltering in place. One more reason to like Tom Hanks: hes a reader. Niki works at the bookstore. My official badge-carrying title at the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs was public-health sanitarian. The badge would have allowed me to inspect and close down pet stores if I wasnt too busy catching bats. Painting fell into the category of what she meant to get back to as soon as there was time, but there wasnt timethere was work, marriage, and children. She looked at me. He agreed, and then kept finding reasons to go to work anyway. Paintings by Sooki Raphael. Suffice to say the car I was strapped into followed a tunnel down into dark and darker colors, narrower spaces. I leaned over to look at her phone. In life, time runs together in its sameness, but in fiction time is condensedone action springboards into another, greater action. (I say this as someone who is spending my days trying to write about our friendship and what happened here. What could have been a disastrous time becomes, for both of them, a cherished opportunity. New This Week; Available Now; Plant Types I didnt know how the story would end. You must have Mary Poppinss suitcase.. I was going only for the night. I lit the candles on the table and served the cauliflower cake and tomato soup Id made that afternoon. She was supposed to lug this cooler with her to the hospital every week. I thought of her time as precious now. Karl found a giant bright-blue tarp in the garage and Sooki spread it over the floor and table downstairs, setting herself up to paint. Well, Sooki said when we were finished. I didnt know what I was supposed to do, she told me later. Sooki and I needed the same thing: to find someone who could see us as our best and most complete selves, writes Patchett. Sooki had been a marathoner, though her best event was a 10K trail run. And so she meets Sooki Raphael, Hanks' assistant. The price of living with a writer was that eventually she would write about you. And even when youre in the middle of it you can still get up and go to the bathroom. Their close friendship began through email, and would eventually lead to Patchett offering her home to Raphael in early 2020 so she could receive cancer treatment in Nashville. An epilogue describes how before Sookis death they manage a day on the beach and a celebratory exhibition of her paintings. Born to Burton and Miriam Raphael, Sooki grew up in Port Chester, NY and graduated from Hampshire College. But everyone showed up, all four hundred of them packed in side by side, every last chair in the ballroom occupied. I was in deep mourning for the loss of my best friend, and while I was and still am in shock, I could not ask anyone else to write this tribute. He was in Nashville. I said I thought it would be easier to be bald. I just keep moving forward. And it's such a funny thing. She loved Dr.Bendell. All that breathing and twisting and flexing fed her, and the calm voice of the instructor seemed to be speaking directly to her. Sparky Walks the Neighborhood with Ann, Nashville 2020. So what are the deadlines, days needed, etc? We waited. There was no more walking to a class in the dark of morningeverything was closedand so I asked her if she wanted to exercise with me. The days went on and I could feel Sooki slipping, hounded by her own indecision. KELLY: Speaking of friendships that we make in college, early in life when we - it feels like we have all this time to just live in the present, tell me about another essay - "The First Thanksgiving." 2,560 Followers, 85 Following, 25 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Sooki Raphael (@sookiraphaelartist) We had finally found a completely comfortable way of being together. And so I couldn't call my mom. The bottom floor of the house is an apartment, separate entrance, no kitchen. This one is good for your liver. This will help all your internal organs. You are beautiful. Karl had started flying in Mississippi when he was ten. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. Yoga and meditation for an hour in the morning was augmented with yoga and meditation for an hour at night. At the heart of her new collection is a 66-page story about her transformational late-in-life friendship with Sooki Raphael, an artist and the longtime assistant to actor Tom Hanks. He didnt know her, and I didnt exactly know her either. They took ten vials of blood on one visit, twenty-eight vials the next. Once I start writing things down, I feel like Im nailing the story in place. Karl is a doctor, but Sooki had been treated at UCLA, Stanford, Duke, and Memorial Sloan Kettering. I saw Tom and Rita in Nashville two more times. They were lucky and the fire skated past. I met Sooki Raphael for a few minutes in Washington, D.C., around three years ago, and maybe even more than that now. She once caught bats for the City of New York. No one could keep up with her. The CA 19-9 had gone from 2,100 to 470. Im a vegetarian. I told her as much. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? Spanish for straight, direct. Are you breathing? Now I knew several people who were using them as part of therapy. While we pored over every detail of dinner (Sooki revealed herself to be a great cook), we didnt talk about her family. Our lives ran the way they always did, only with the addition of a quiet person who did her best to take up as little space and be as helpful as possible. Sooki sheltered-in-place with Patchett and her husband first coming to stay . The house smelled of chickpea stew and rice when I came in the door that night. Winter came without a word. Do you ever miss being alone in your house? she asked me once. The press release is about to go out. I sat there and watched her read, waiting for something more, something that explained it. It's by Ann Patchett. Three time cancer survivor, MariannaCuozzo, talks to SurvivorNet about how art helps her express herself. Thats been everything to me, and my life. Even if it wasnt a perfect plan, it was better than doing nothing. The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. It was enough just to be together in all that darkness. Lets go back to the hotel. Can you imagine Tom sitting at home saying, I cant believe Sooki used my connections to get into a clinical trial in Nashville?, No, of course not, Im just telling you. I find a stream and follow it, the stream dries up, and Im left to look for moss on the sides of trees. There was a little kitchen in the dorm, and I got a book, and I made Thanksgiving dinner. In time, all I would have to say was, Its Friday. And this led to you meeting Sooki. Please sign in to save videos. ANN PATCHETT: Aw, Mary Louise. The ones Tom Hanks approved of were handed to me. When they called, she asked them all the right questions. 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But also undeniable are Patchetts generosity of spirit, compassion and gift for friendship, not a field yellow... Us while this discussion was going on the table and served the cauliflower and!

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